16.41 on 5.19

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! Ok! I get it... we either need to be completely SILENT or express every view that we have... I never knew I was so contraversial... We ARE ONLY HUMAN!!!! Maybe I should have stayed the silent observer yet again... I DO NOT... and AM NOT GOING BACK TO BEING A WALL FIXTURE! That's how I survived since elementary school... it was different in Europe... It's not possible for me to go back now...

AND JUST SO YOU KNOW! I'M SORRY IF I HUNG WITH MY P2P FRIENDS MORE THAN YOU! I TRIED TO GET YOU GUYS TO MESH! I guess you can't always get a perfect match... they might know more of my soul... And I'm sorry about that... We need to have a sleep over... And we aren't sleeping... we are spilling our souls onto a table... And no snide comments

And I'm sorry that I cant seem to get over Feng... I'm working my butt off trying too... It took me how long to get over Gage? It took Sam how long to get over Corey? It takes any of us HOW LONG TO GET OVER A GUY WE THOUGHT WE WERE IN LOVE WITH?!?!? I KNOW I still love him... Allow me this one painful indulgence... I'm ripping myself away from him to wait... This is the third and last time... I can't force myself to hate him... Give me time... I'll try... And the only thing keeping me alive is "I will survive" that song... I'll keep on fighting till I know that it is done... You've gotta let me get over these obstacles... If I don't I'll regret it for the rest of my life because it will be unfinished buisness...

17.31 on 5.17

We went to the mall yesterday... and you can read it on other blogs so I won't repeat it here... But there are a few things no one bothered to notice... and no one should be insulted by them... we all make mistakes... but at the mall after carla came some of you guys kinda started ignoring me and not walking with me... I felt really left out, which I know sounds lame, but it's true. And I just thought I would say I think it's comical that you think I was suicidal at sara's and then "she got better" just a warning so you can never get fooled by that trick again... I don't just get better in a snap of a finger... I don't bounce back... I hide behind walls and don't show it ever again... Don't fall for that trick again... it's sad that I perfected it that well...

15.59 on 5.15

I got a free iced coffee... but that's beside the point...

All I have to say is...

Feng kissed Lily... and I feel like dying.... it should have been me... but I've made far too many mistakes that I can't change now... I need to live with it... or die trying too....

19.41 on 5.14

I have made my decision about what to do with Feng.... by Monday morning he can never talk to me until he's single again.... This decision may kill me.... but at least it's done with...

I have soooo much to do this weekend... other than getting over a broken heart...

20.40 on 5.7

I lost more of my soul... and all of my hope... yea the Devil backstabbed me... got wat he wanted... and went back to suddenly keeping morals... ok... the Devil I'm talking about here is Clear-Eyes... the Devil is nicer than Clear-Eyes

16.58 on 5.6

I feel like I'm making a deal with the Devil... and of course it's not working too well... he's not letting me weasel out of my part of the bargain... It's good I don't got a soul anymore to lose... plus the Devil's already got me for eternity...

15.03 on 5.5

Feng doesn't care... it's kinda creepy... but now I can't stop thinking about tall dude... who needs a nickname.... Well I can't get my mind off him!!!! And its really annoying cuz now I know Feng doesn't care.... I'm opening a Pandora Box of guys...

15.58 on 5.2

I've discovered something painful... about being an accidental slut... It's getting harder to not trip up on my web of lies... and sure I may have "more chances" to get kisses, hugs, etc.... but the guys they're with don't think they're actually attached to them... they ask the girl if they should ask someone out... I know it shouldn't hurt this much... but why does it? the other girl only wanted to have a guy... why does he want to go back to her? I'd offer him so much more.....

14.37 on 5.1

Hi all! I have a new cast! I started cooking... and I have discovered... *drumroll* I AM A SLUT! by accident